Note: Its a fictitious letter and bear no resemblance to myself, any friend or anyone.
The falling leaves
I have to let this go. I am becoming such a burden. For whatever I used to be, I am not the same. For one and all I have realised that life is not a fairytale, it was never meant to be. I cannot put into words how much you meant to me, how far I was willing to go. But you had other thoughts, all you did is hurt, hurt and hurt. I was an ambitious guy, determined to get settled and to bring laurels to my family. Back then all I ever wanted was to make a name for myself and earn lots of money. A guy who always go with the flow and people, I was no rebel. But then I met you. And it just changed the way I am, things just happened.
I was in love. Totally, madly, honestly. They say love changes people, truth they speak. You made me a better person. I am not going to speak of why you came in my life and why you left, let those pages of history be forever a mystery. For all I love you and just can’t do without you. It was beautiful what we had. It was really special what we shared.
But then fairytales are never true. You and your betrayal. I was ready to live with the fact that you’re gone, feelings are rarely mutual. I tried to make sense of what you did, and I thought of it as respectable. Your betrayal left me badly wounded but the pain was worth it, I never complained. I thought it’s just me.
Then that day, your confession left me numb. I was in pain and your words ignited it to a whole new level. True love is hard to find, and it’s harder to keep. On one side I kept my heart on the dias for you, while all you wanted was something else. You wrapped that something nicely in the name of love and presented it to me, so fool I was, blindly by your love couldn’t see what was transpiring.
I was ready to live the pain. It was hurtful but still something I would have lived with. But today if I close my eyes, all I see is vengeance. We all are human. It’s humane to seek for some revenge. The bitter truth of humanity which everybody wishes for, I am human too. For all you have done, I sometimes wishes to break you down to shards. For all you have done I sometimes think of doing the same to you. Though I m tempted, I just don’t want to do it.
But I fear I may do it, we all are humans and anger makes us do stuffs we can’t even fathom about. Anger is powerful, one has no idea where it can lead one to. I fear that anger. I fear stooping so low, I fear I may hurt you, I fear I may spoil it for you, I fear I may go on and do stuffs you did to me. And I just can’t live with this fear.
It’s fine to live with the pain of losing you, but it’s difficult to live with the fear of destroying you.
When you came in my life, I made you my world, and nobody would intentionally hurt their world. And so won’t I.
Love make us do crazy stuffs. Look what it made me do. I know you’ll be happy without me, but I won’t be happy if I hurt you. It’s better that I bid adieu to this world which I have forgotten completely than to live with such fear. I just can’t find any other reason to go on.
Love changed me,
Love changes everything.